Charlogy Online

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

I've had enough of these m*%*$*f**&*ng reptile experts on this m*%*#*f*%**ng script!

I agree with Mark. Whereas Snakes on a Plane is undoubtedly a bold and worthwhile experiment, it nonetheless highlights the dubious wisdom of entrusting the production of Hollywood films to internet committees.

Though I enjoyed the movie, I was annoyed by the pointless subplot with the guys on the ground desperately trying to ascertain exactly what snakes are on the plane so they can provide the right variety of antivenoms if and when the plane lands safely. It detracts from the main action and is just the kind of nit-picking you can expect when you invite people who actually know about snakes to have their input.

The thing is, in movies we take it as a given that baddies will have ready access to exotic and lethal animals, viz. piranhas, crocodiles, sharks with lasers etc. Okay, so this diverse cocktail of poisonous serpents are not actually indigenous to Hawaii. I don't care! It's not going to harm their tourist industry and nor is it necessary to worry that LA hospitals are unlikely to stock the appropriate antidotes - the film's dramatic climax is when the plane gets down to earth again, not in the ER twenty minutes later when we learn - thank God! - they have managed to locate the right serum for an Australian Copperhead in the nick of time after all.

It doesn't matter! Let the reptile geeks pull it apart for its lack of zoological integrity afterwards - that's what the internet is for after all - but don't ruin it for the rest of us by forcing the studio to do stupid reshoots or we'll never get another movie finished ever again. Thankfully the snake expert in the film was also a pedantic little fusspot - at least the studio picked up that much from the online hordes and their great "suggestions".

7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think you'll find the reshoots were to add gratuitous swearing, gore, sex and nudity rather than zoological integrity. I actually rather enjoyed the snake expert scenes, and knowing that should the plane land the victims would be unlikely to get anti-venom added to the jeopardy.

9:29 pm  
Blogger Charlie said...

Then the pedantic nit-picking was all my own then. Ah - the irony!

4:31 pm  
Blogger Layla said...

I have never seen the movie. Other than the animal facts, it's less reason for me to regret not watching it.

6:55 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I caved in and went with Andy whilst at home this weekend. It was entertaining.

6:41 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

P.S. Charlie, I hear you've got some kind of broadcasting deal? Please inform me of this and other developments via the medium of electronic mail.

6:42 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can I just note that I just bought Shawshank on DVD for £2.99?

I can? Excellent!

6:36 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just thought I'd add Germany to the list of nations which have contributed to this blog in some way. I am there for a few days on holiday, visiting a friend of mine from second year in Durham. Looking likely to go to the real Alps on Sunday (and possibly Switzerland), whilst going to the Swabian Alps today.

All the best guys, auf wierdersehen!

Chris

5:41 pm  

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