Charlogy Online

Monday, January 14, 2008

In my not at all humble opinion... film sequels

The following is recent correspondence between myself and Mr Simon Dillon on that hoary old chestnut of film sequels. All I can say is, I gave it my best shot...

Charles says:
It has been well-documented, Mr. Dillon, that in your not at all humble opinion (hereafter abbreviated to NAAHO), there exist only two sequels to be better than the original film. I need not name them, for if there are any cannot do so upon the slightest prompting, they are no true friend of yours. But in your selection of the canonical Two you have held to the precept that the first movie must be a classic in its own right.

And here, in my NAAHO, we must differ. For if we discuss the merits of any sequel relative to its progenitor, we should not apply an external set of measures to say if it is a good film or not, that is besides the point. The only yardstick we may apply is the original itself, be it good, bad, or straight-to-video awful. Is the sequel better than the original? That is our sole point of interest here.

I therefore submit for your consideration the Top Ten Sequels to be Better than the Original with No Preconditions Regarding the Quality of the First Film in my NAAHO. Following your usual protocol, this list is in no particular order of merit. I should also add that it is by no means exhaustive. In fact it's the first ten I could think of. And if it seems to bear any resemblance to a list of films I saw on video at some point in the early nineties, that is of little or no significance. I await your response.

Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey (1991)
Bogus Journey is better than Excellent Adventure because the jokes are funnier: "They're from medieval England ." "Ted!" "Er, Medieval England ... Iowa ." The Grim Reaper gets first 'Melvin'-ed then beaten at his less favoured board games: "A hit! You have sunk my battleship! Best four out of seven!" It's a joyful romp throughout ending with Wyld Stallyns fulfilling their promise to become the greatest rock band in the universe. Not. Joss Ackland freely admitted he only did it for the money. I think it's one of his best films.

Simon says: Sorry, but I prefer the original (Genghis Khan cleaning a toilet is just too funny). The sequel is funny though.

Young Guns II: Blaze of Glory (1990)
Much darker than the first, with the attractive youthful bunch of brat pack outlaws from the first ending up getting gunned down one by one. Er, that's about all I can remember about it. Still, altogether now: GOOOIN' DAAAAOOOOOWN INA BLAYEEEZA GLOOHOOOERAAAAY!

Simon says: Don’t remember it well enough to pass judgement.

Short Circuit 2 (1988)
The original about a military killer robot who gets struck by lightning and turns into a somewhat camp input-fixated naif looking for a home was rather twee, albeit in a feelgood way. The second is as well. But it thankfully ditches Steve Guttenburg from the first movie and sends Johnny Five into the big bad city to help out struggling Indian-American scientist Ben (Fisher Stevens from the first instalment). On the way his friendly trusting nature is abused by the leader of a group of bank robbers. Basically whatever qualities the original has, the second has it more: it's funnier, more touching, well-written, has some great moments of tension and even true pathos. And it has Michael McKean from Spinal Tap. Awesome.

Simon says: A truly dire sequel to a not exactly wonderful original, although I do like some of that Indian bloke’s one liners (“I cannot hear what I am forgetting!”)

Scary Movie 3 & 4 (2003/5)

This franchise improved immeasurably once it was take out of the hands of the woeful Wayans brothers and given to the godfather of spoof David Zucker. Thus instead of endless gags about bongs (only funny when you are high yourself I suspect - and even then I'm only guessing), Leslie Nielsen and Charlie Sheen were recruited to give the series the injection of befuddled wisdom and head-banging pratfalls it so desperately needed. The first two installments had me ranting passionately at the screen. "Making reference to other films is not an end in itself!" I shouted. "You have to do something with it to make it funny, you morons!" Under new management, Number 4 on the other hand (which spoofs War of the Worlds among others) provided moments of genuine satire. When Leslie Nielsen is informed of the alien attack he is sitting in a primary school classroom a la George W. listening to the kids read him The Ugly Duckling.

Aide: Mr. President, the country is being attacked by aliens.
President: That can wait, I have to find out what happens to this duck.
Aide: Mr. President, if we don't go now many more people may die.
President: Then there's nothing we can do for them. But this duck still has a fighting chance.

Genius. Now that's the quality you get when you have the right hand at the helm!

Simon says: Scary Movie 3 and 4 I must confess I have not seen, although that George W scene sounds brilliant.

Rocky II (1979)
Better structured. We don't have to wait til two-thirds of the way through to know old Rocky's going to get his big chance against Apollo. Right from the start with the two hospitalized fighters bleating "There ain't gonna be no rematch!" we're looking forward to the rematch. And am I wrong in thinking this was the first Rocky movie to feature the by-now obligatory montage? Rocky IV broke new ground by being the first movie to be almost entirely composed of montages. That didn't make it good, though.

Simon says: No, sorry. The whole point of Rocky was that he went the fifteen rounds but lost, and every one of the sequels ignored that.

Day of The Dead (1985)
My favourite of Romero's Dead quadrilogy (and also his own), much tighter than the overlong Dawn and the first with genuinely frightening make-up and lifelike(?) movement from the zombies. With an underground bunker populated by psychotic military types and mad scientists, I think it's the one which best shows the main threat to survival in the post-apocalyptic world comes not from the hordes of the undead but from the infighting of the survivors. In fact the zombies only get their chance because one of the characters loses it and decides to let them all in. Okay, and I also like it because it's the goriest. "Choke on 'em! Choke on 'eeeeeeeeeeeeemm!"

Simon says: No, I like the original best (and is quadrilogy even a proper word? Surely it should be quartet?)

28 Weeks Later (2006)
More zombies. The strength of this film is in its breathtaking intensity, firstly in a heart-stopping opening and then never lifting off the throttle from the time Robert Carlyle attempts an ill-advised reconciliation with his infected wife. No one does losers and psychos better than Carlyle and here he gets to do both, the latter in the best scenery-chewing tradition. The astonishing shots of a deserted London are augmented by scenes of the capital getting blitzed as the US army loses control. Unlike the first film, it also ends bleakly as a good zombie film should.

Simon says: As good as the original, but not better.

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982)
"KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!" End of argument.

Simon says: Here I actually agree with you. Star Trek: The Motion Picture went for 2001 style grandeur but was dubbed by critics as “the slow motion picture” and I agree. It was a failure, albeit a gloriously epic failure with superb effects and an outstanding music score. Khan on the other hand, is nigh on classic – a superb screenplay with wit, excitement and pathos to spare. Great performances from Leonard Nimoy and even William Shatner (except for the ludicrous but unforgettable “KHAN!!!!!” moment).

Okay, in the end I couldn't even think of ten. Anyone else have any others?

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