Lee for Vendetta
If you thought British politics was childish, consider yourself lucky. If you want an idea of what domestic politics is like in Taiwan, think of Taiwan's legislature (parliament) as a huge pram afloat on a sea of spat-out dummies. Under the current administration, antagonism between parties is such that legislators can be counted on to vote for or against any bill depending on who proposed it. Saves a lot of time reading boring documents I guess.
But there are times when mindless gainsaying just isn't enough. Step forward Lee Ao. Lee is an independent legislator (MP) and chronic self-publicist, a combination which frequently leads to colourful acts of look-at-me drama. Last week in a vote on a government-proposed arms bill, Lee entered the voting chamber in a V for Vendetta Guy Fawkes mask, brandished a stun baton and set off a can of tear gas. "I'm an old man and can risk my life," said Lee, "let's see who dares to vote on the bill now!"
Later in the week Lee switched sides and went to vote in favour of a government-proposed bill attacking dubious assets held by the opposition. He held up his banner, did a little song and dance and then pressed the wrong button and voted against the bill by mistake.
I defy you to find a looser cannon in world politics. To think the best we have is Boris Johnson. Will things be this much fun if China takes over? Somehow I doubt it.
19 Comments:
I knew Boris was a reasonable chap, this guy makes him seem a pantheon of sensibility!
I think the best we can muster is ex-MP Ron Brown who threw the House of Commons mace to the floor during a debate on the poll tax.
Not quite in the same league as Lee I'll admit, but he was expelled from the Labour Party in 1992 after being fined £1000 for destroying the contents and fittings of his ex-lover’s flat.
That's probably as colourful as it gets in British politics unless you count John Major's hot and spicy encounters with Edwina Curry....
Please Sean, you really didn't have to do that...I have successfully forgotten about that horrible thought for a long time. A new low Griffin, might have to fly over there and club you with a Celine Dion box set...
I think the encounters must have been Korma-strength at best.
Don't worry guys the 'hot and spicy' tag was placed firmly in the sarcastic camp...
What about John Prescott when he punched that bloke during an election campaign?
Ah but then 'Two shags' Prescott was acting in the heat of the moment whereas this was clearly premeditated. I mean the guy had a custom made Guy Fawkes gasmask for heavens' sake.
Guys, I got the job in Chester! As long as I find a living place I'll be there in a week and a bit!
Slugger Prescott, I'd momentarily forgotten about him. But don't be fooled by his apparent off the cuff fisty cuffs, this boy has been in serious training for a fight. It takes complete dedication to develop a heavyweight waist like his.
If ever there was a politician born for the ring it's 'Two Shags'. But I'd prefer to see him wrestling as opposed to boxing. A match-up with Big Daddy or Giant Haystacks would be worth watching...
I'd have him go nine rounds against Kenneth Clarke, with the winner to take on Helmut Kohl for the European title.
Yes those would be good match-ups with the winner heading Stateside to slug it out with the American champion Dick Cheney for the coveted Heavyweight Boxing Politician Championship of the World (WBPC belt).
In the red corner trying to represent Great Britain, weighing in at an incredibly large amount, is the undisputed heavyweight slugger of Europe John 'Two Shags' Prescott... and in the red, white and blue corner representing American greed and the need to squeeze oil reserves out of the opposition, is Dick 'head' Cheney.
If I was a betting man I'd have my money on 'Two Shags' to win the whole thing....
I think between them the two have as rich supplies of oil (saturated)as you could ever want. But let's hope their careers are exhaustible - and soon!
But for real political gravitas(s)we must go back to the wartime duo of Churchill and Stalin. Those two heavyweights kicked Hitler's skinny butt!
Boris Yeltsin would have any of them, vostok boodyet bolshe moi tovarish!
Only in feats of vodka drinking and election campaign disco-dancing I suspect. I'm not really about to die, I'm as fit as an ox! Look!
Ahh, but if one of his wild swings connected with someone they'd be knocked into next week, I'd back him to beat Prescott (who I nearly literally bumped into in Durham, pre-regional election humiliation) any day.
Sorry Chris I'm with Chas on this one. Slugger to win in the 3rd round by a knockout (the type where Yeltsin's corner crew give him one to many shots during the interval). Basically Boris is unable to return to the ring for the 3rd round!
Now if you were having a competition as to who could swipe the baton from the conductor of a brass band ensemble in Germany and wave it around as vigourously as possible then Yeltsin would win.
But for sheer ring craft 'Two Shags' wins by a belt (size of two).
Yes, better make sure that championship belt has plenty of notches on it.
All this talk of John Prescott's belt size reminds me of Sean's superb American T-shirt size scale:
XL - Extra large.
XXL - Extra, extra large.
XXXL - Extra, extra, extra large.
YMS - Yacht main sail.
CMS - Clipper main sail.
GMS - Galleon mail sail.
MD - Millennium Dome.
ROF - Run out of Fabric.
I don't remember coming up with that scale Simon but it does sound like me!
I do, however, remember saying that the Fartus Nonstopus has to eat three times its own body weight just to appear on American talk shows!
Post a Comment
<< Home