Grabbed by the Goondas, Prakash lets loose his bull

Taken from this week's Instant Noodles Year of the Ox Special -- hear it online now at english.rti.org.tw

This story comes to us from India, a land where the cow is held in great veneration. But it seems one mobster from Kerala has been using them for far less noble purposes. When a team of police finally caught up with an elusive criminal named Prakash, he unleashed his fighting bull on them.

Prakash is known locally as Vettukuttan, referring to his physical prowess and hobby of rearing bulls and poisonous snakes. He was wanted in several criminal cases under the Goondas Act, goondas meaning hoodlum, as in ‘goon’.

He’d been giving police the slip for some time but a four man team finally managed to catch up with him, Prakash first attacked them with a big metal bell used for adorning elephants. And as they fought back he released his fighting bull, which he had trained for jallikattu. Jallikattu in the Tamil Nadu area is a tradition of bull taming – the matadors square off against an agitated bull and have to bring it under control empty handed.

It seems however that the policemen were pretty good at jallikattu themselves as they first tamed the bull using ropes and then successfully arrested Prakash.

We're not sure why he didn't try unleashing his snakes on them at this point. Perhaps he's saving them for the trial...

Here's how Instant Noodles imagined the arrest.

Policeman 1: The game's up, Prakash! We’ve tamed your bull and there’s nowhere to run!

Policeman 2: He can't get away, sir. We've got him by the Goondas this time.

Policeman 1: Give up, Prakash! You know we've got you by the Goondas!

Prakash: Haha, not quite yet, methinks! Release the snakes!

Policeman 2: Sarge, he's released his snakes!

Policeman 1: Oh. Well, it's lucky we brought our mongoose then, isn’t it?

Policeman 2: Release the mongoose!

Prakash: Blast! Their mongoose has gone and eaten all my snakes. What else have I got? Ah yes! Release the… flamingoes?

Policeman 2: Sir, he's released his flamingoes.

Policeman 1: Okay. Not long now then.

Prakash: What are you waiting for? Attack! Don't just stand there looking pink! Get them! No! Stop flying away, you cowards! Come back here! Nooo!... Gah! All right, I'll come quietly.

To listen to this week's Instant Noodles online, go to http://english.rti.org.tw and click on a media player icon next to Thursday in the top left of the page. Move playback bar to approx. 25 minutes in.