Stubbed Out: Hubei's Mandatory Smoking Quota

(From the files of Instant Noodles, first broadcast May 7, 2009)

Government staff in central China's Hubei province were recently ordered to smoke their way through 230,000 packs of locally-made cigarettes a year or face being fined. The order was intended to boost Hubei's cigarette brands against competition from neighbouring Hunan province. People can't get enough of their red-hot-chili-and-clove-flavoured cigarettes you see.

In classic Chinese "local authorities try to set an example for the whole of the country" fashion, the mandatory smoking quota was intended to set an example for the whole of the country, according to state media.

Government officials had to back down on the plan however after a public backlash. They rescinded the order to smoke four and a half million cigarettes a year but insisted they were only trying to support local industry and tax revenues. In other words, their heart was in the right place even if their lungs weren't.

Before that happened however, we at Instant Noodles were able to obtain this report on life under the compulsory-smoking regime...

Narrator: Lunchtime at the staff canteen. And as the employees line up with their trays, each one receives a bowl of rice, a tofu dish, a portion of vegetables and a pack of cigarettes. The canteen staff issue a reminder to employees to eat their food first and smoke the cigarettes for dessert -- or risk being sick.

Canteen staff: Otherwise they spend the whole afternoon feeling light-headed. But overall the staff are eating less and losing weight - so it's been a very healthy move.

Narrator: As the lunch break ends, the office manager summons the employees back to work -- and back to smoking!  Come on you lot! he calls. Get your "butts" back to work!

Manager:  I'm very happy about the situation here. We are on course not just to meet our quota but to over-fulfill it. I believe we can become a model smoking unit for the whole country.

Interviewer: How do you achieve that?

Manager: We keep a total of how many cigarettes each person has smoked. Whoever smokes the most is our smoker of the month and wins a prize.

Interviewer: What do they win?

Manager: Cigarettes.

Interviewer (to staff member): Do you worry about being fined if you can't meet your quota?

Staff Member 1: Yes, I worry about it a lot. But the good thing is, the more I worry, the more I smoke. So it's really a win-win situation.

Staff Member 2: I told the boss that I couldn't smoke any more because my throat really hurt. He said I couldn't stop unless I had a note from the work unit doctor.  So I went to see him.

Interviewer: And what did he say?

Staff Member 2: He said I should take a course of menthols and prescribed me sixty a day.

Narrator: Reprisals can be harsh for those who fail to toe the line. Here the manager confronts a member of staff who has been caught not smoking. The staff member tries to protest that he has been passive smoking all the while. But it cuts no ice with the manager. 

Manager: Passive smoking! How dare you passive smoke! Sitting there and sucking up everyone else's hard work! I'll teach you not to not smoke! You're a disgrace!

Narrator: On the whole however, the manager believes the compulsory smoking rules have made the office a happier workplace.

Manager: It's given us a whole new approach to our work. We've become more flexible in our thinking. I'll give you an example. Due to the building code we can't actually smoke in the office itself. So people were spending more than half the day outside on the mandatory smoking breaks. So instead of having a working day with smoking breaks, it was more like a smoking day with work breaks. Ha ha ha! How ridiculous!

Interviewer: So what did you do?

Manager: In the end, we moved everyone's desks and cubicles outside! So now everyone gets to enjoy the sunshine while they work – and of course, the fresh air! 

(sounds of hacking coughs)

Manager: You see! Even their coughs are more productive!

(Listen to this week's Instant Noodles online at english.rti.org.tw -- if you are clever enough to work out our notoriously user-unfriendly interface. A new episode every week.)