Kawaii! Japanese ambassadors spread "cute power"

(Extract from this week's Instant Noodles -- hear it online now at http://english.rti.org.tw until March 25th.)


Japan has recently appointed three young women as cultural ambassadors in a bid to extend the country's "cute power" overseas. According to Reuters, the first of the new ambassadors dresses as a cute schoolgirl, the second as a Victorian doll with voluminous frilly skirts, and the third wears a bunny-print polka-dot shirt "offset by bouffant back-combed hair."


The three are all inspired by distinctive characters from Japan's anime cartoon movies and manga comic books. Fellow manga regular the Multi-Tentacled Rape Monster reportedly confessed himself "disappointed" not to have made the shortlist.


With this welcome development, we may now look forward to the time when all of Japan's international affairs may be carried out by its adorable cultural icons...

(Scene: UN Security Council briefing room)


UN Chair Ban Ki-moon: The United Nations Commission on Nuclear Proliferation now recognizes the Ambassador of Japan, Mr Pika Chu.

Pikachu: Pikachu.

Translator: Thank you.

Pikachu: Pika pi. Pika pika. Chu.

Translator: As you are aware, the unchecked spread of nuclear technology…

Pikachu: Pika chu. Pika pika.

Translator: …is a grave concern in these times of heightened security alert.

Pikachu: Pika pika pika. Chuuu. Pika pi. Pika chu.

Translator: We have recently greeted with dismay the news that our old adversary Team Rocket…

Pikachu: Piiiiiikaaaa. Pika chuuu!

Translator: …has been collaborating with two other blacklisted organizations...

Pikachu: Pika… chuu!

Translator: ...Team Warhead and Team Intercontinental.

Pikachu: Pikapiii! Pika pika chu! Pika chu chu chu! Pi…

Translator: This presents a threat not only to regional security but to the entire world.

Pikachu: Pi pi pi pi pi pi pi...

Translator: We reiterate our ongoing commitment to the framework…

Pikachu: Pikaaa! Pika piii. Pika. pika pika chu. Pika chu, chu chu.

Translator: …of multilateral talks to resolve the issue through dialogue…

Pikachu: Pika pika pika chu...

Translator: …but must insist that harsher sanctions be not precluded from this process…

Pikachu: Pika pika pika pi.

Translator: …if certain elements continue in their belief that…

Pikachu: Pikachu! Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii…

Translator: …they may flaunt with impunity their disregard for the will of the international community.

Pikachu: Pika pika. Pika pika pikachu!

Translator: Also, me, Charmander and Sonic the Hedgehog are going for ice cream later if anyone is interested.

(To listen to this week's Instant Noodles online, go to http://english.rti.org.tw and click on media player icon next to Thursday in the top left of the page. When media player starts move playback bar to approx. 25 minutes in.)