Torture is an ugly word... I prefer the term "Celine Dion."

(from this week's Instant Noodles, RTI's weekly wrap of the odder news from the Asia-Pacific region -- listen online now at english.rti.org.tw)

Las Vegas: High roller sabotaged by bad feng shui.  A Taiwanese man who lost US$2 million in Las Vegas casino is planning to sue the casino for sabotaging his winning streak by undermining his room's feng shui. 

The man, Mr Yuan, claims the Venetian hotel/casino dug a one meter square hole in the wall of the presidential suite where he was staying and covered it with a black cloth. They also put out two white towels in front of his suite and turned on two large fans facing his room, flooding it with inauspicious qi.

Yuan claims his luck changed after he discovered these alterations, and he went from being US$400,000 up to being US$2 million in the hole. Yuan said, "We Chinese drape black and white cloths only when there is a death in the family. It is a taboo for regular people, let alone for gamblers," he said. He intends to sue for "feng shui sabotage" if the hotel fails to come up with "a reasonable solution."

Feng shui (風水, wind and water) is the ancient Chinese tradition of geomancy that seeks to channel energy through the arrangement of furniture and ornaments. 

From what I've seen of Las Vegas casinos in the movies however, we at Instant Noodles suspect they may not let Mr Yuan off the hook so lightly...

(doorbell)

Yuan: Yes?

Casino manager: Good evening, Mr Yuan. I see you are preparing to check out.

Yuan: You don't say! It's been a terrible weekend.

Casino manager:  Better luck next time. Before you go however, there is the unfortunate matter of your account.

Yuan: Ha! Forget it, I’m not paying.

Casino manager: That is unfortunate. May I ask why?

Yuan: Because your hotel has the worst feng shui!

Casino manager:  I am sorry to hear it. I am assured our kitchen uses only the finest ingredients.

Yuan: Not the catering! The room! I’m sorry, who are you again?

Casino manager:  I represent my associates in the ah… construction industry.

Yuan: Well kindly inform your associates in the construction industry on the right way to build a hotel. Look at this – black cloth on the wall, white towels on the rail... What, did somebody die?

Casino manager:  We are hoping that will not be necessary.

Yuan: As soon as I noticed the bad feng shui I started to lose. Whose fault is that?

Casino manager:  Sometimes it is wise to stop before your luck runs out.

Yuan: Wrong! It's your fault! That's why I'm not paying the debt.

Casino manager:  I'm sorry you feel this way. That is... unfortunate.

Yuan: I agree. Very unfortunate!

Casino manager:  Perhaps you would reconsider.

Yuan: No!

Casino manager:  Then I'm afraid you leave me no choice, Mr Yuan.

Yuan: Are you threatening me? W-What's that you’re holding?

Casino manager:  You force me to give you this  complimentary  ticket.

Yuan: Ticket for what?

Casino manager:  Celine Dion, Mr Yuan.

Yuan: Celine Dion? A-Are you threatening to torture me?

Casino manager: Torture is such an ugly word, Mr Yuan. I prefer the term… Celine Dion.

Yuan: No! You can't intimidate me like this!

Casino manager:  Front row seats, Mr Yuan.

Yuan: Do you know who I am? You can't subject me to this kind of...

Casino manager:  Her heart will go on and on, Mr Yuan.

Yuan: No! No! Not that! Anything!

Casino manager:  And if you still need time to think, we can take you backstage at the tiger show…

Yuan: (frightened squeak)

Casino manager:  Let me be blunt, Mr Yuan. Settle your account within an hour or me and my associates will be round to rearrange the feng shui of your face. Are we clear?

Yuan: (squeak) Okay.

(To listen to this week's Instant Noodles online, go to http://english.rti.org.tw and click on media player icon next to Thursday in the top left of the page. When media player starts move playback bar to approx. 25 minutes in.)