Opera Singer Is All Mouth and No Trousers

(Extract from this week's Instant Noodles -- hear it online now at english.rti.org.tw until April 23rd)

South Korea: British opera singer Bryn Terfel had to borrow a pair of trousers from a member of the audience last week after absent-mindedly turning up for a concert wearing shorts.

Terfel left his hotel in Seoul wearing shorts as it was a nice day but forgot he was still wearing them when he headed for the performance. Thankfully the 6ft 4 ins tall Terfel managed to find a audience member who loved opera enough to drop his trousers in order for the show to go on. "There was one person there who happened to be the same height as me," said Terfel, "and if there was ever a pair of trousers that fit like a glove -- that's the one."

Trousers that fit like a glove? We at Instant Noodles think Terfel may just be confused about trousers generally.

But this curious case also made us wonder: is it always necessary to wear trousers to perform opera? Some roles might be more convincing without them -- notorious womaniser Don Giovanni, for instance. Or the main role in the little-known comic opera by Verdi, Il Pantalone. In case you're unfamiliar with this mysteriously overlooked gem from the Italian maestro, here's a clip for you now...

Narrator: In Act Two of Il Pantalone, the incorrigible Don Flagrante is attempting to seduce his beautiful maidservant Gigoletta in his study. Suddenly however he hears the shrill voice of his wife Shrewilla outside...

Shrewilla: My husband! Where are you?

Gigoletta: It is your wife!

Don Flagrante: Oh no! My wife without the door -- and I without my trousers! She must not behold my divested lower half.

Gigoletta: Quickly! Stand behind this table!

Don Flagrante: Of course! If I stand behind the table she will not see that I wear no trousers.

Shrewilla: There you are!

Don Flagrante: My dearest! But who are all these men?

Shrewilla: The men are here to take away the table.

Don Flagrante: This table?

Shrewilla: Yes. We are getting a new one. Do you not remember?

Don Flagrante: This... is not a good time.

Shrewilla: Why ever not?

Gigoletta: Madam! Your husband... requires a short time alone with the table. To say goodbye!

Shrewilla: Nonsense. Remove the table at once!

Don Flagrante: I have changed my mind! The table stays!

Shrewilla: But you hate this table! You always said so!

Don Flagrante: And may a man not change? And may deep love not grow? This I hold, and this my heart doth know, that- (needle scratch)

Shrewilla: WHERE ARE YOUR TROUSERS?

Don Flagrante: Ah. It seems that while I was singing that last part you have walked round behind me.

Shrewilla: Tell me this instant!

Gigoletta: Madam! There is an explanation-

Shrewilla: Quiet, you! Where are they?

Don Flagrante: Why do you weary me with these questions? My trousers are neither here nor there!

Shrewilla: Yes. So I see.

(To listen to this week's Instant Noodles online, go to http://english.rti.org.tw and click on media player icon next to Thursday in the top left of the page. When media player starts move playback bar to approx. 25 minutes in.)