I Knew It

Pessimism is a terrible thing not least for one reason - because it's so often accurate. In the form of his life, scoring for fun, creating beautifully-crafted goals, composing footballing poetry on the pitch as exquisite as Mozart writing operas in his mind.

He's going to get injured, I said.

Why, God, why?

People My Brother Jim's Brother Charlie Looks Like #4: Raiders of the Lost Archives

Another nostalgic offering from the Searchlight back catalogue courtesy of Sean, who trawled through thousands of sealed crates in a government warehouse to retrieve it. Bureaucratic fools! They didn't know what they had there.

I can in fact claim one genuine similarity to Harrison Ford - an almost identical scar on the chin from when I fell off a table as a child. Okay, not very heroic but I doubt his story is any more impressive. I do admire Harrison Ford though - he's achieved a lot for someone without a recognisable first name. And his progress from rakish Han Solo to monolith of moral fortitude has been nothing short of astounding. Nobody can point a finger in righteous anger with as much gravitas as Harrison. Except possibly Charlton Heston - but then again, he'd most likely be pointing a gun.

Emperor Popeltine

And now to religious affairs. It is now one year since Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger became Pope Benedict XVI. (I was disappointed - I was hoping he might revive the superb moniker Boniface - not a name that just anyone could carry off!) On the anniversary of his ascension, the BBC reported on his first year in office, noting how he was considered a 'Darth Vader' figure by some insiders at the time of his selection. Good old beeb, they also managed to dig out a photo which scarily backs this up - it seems that the years spent as Pope John Paul's padawan paid off well. Warning: you may experience some chest-tightening and breathing difficulties as you view this picture.

Pope Benedict finds your lack of faith... disturbing.
Link

People My Brother Jim Looks Like #6

Jim has unearthed another of his doeppelgaengers (damn, where are the umlauts when you need them?) Serj Tankian, singer from System of a Down. He has sent two pictures, see if you can tell which is the original.



Did you spot it? Now I'm not entirely convinced, I have to say. Having said that, if they ever decide to do a post-industrial hardcore punk metal version of Oliver! then Jim is a shoo-in for the part of Fagin.

In terms of pure likeness however I do reckon there is a comparison to be made between the photoshopped version and the Robot Devil from Futurama - or even Bender's evil brother Flexo from the same programme.

Also, what's up with Jim's grotesquely swollen hand - has he been using Anna's magic water I wonder?

People My Brother Jim's Brother Charlie Looks Like #3

Sean is on the money this time with this comparison however, likening my alter ego Sidney Dalton the security guard to Colin Farrell's character in S.W.A.T. My trousers are better pressed than his I think you'll notice though.

The S.W.A.T. angle is no coincidence either I might add, as you will see from this recent picture of myself at Bad Cop Special Response Unit training school. I nearly got my badge that day - but in the end I settled for a fluffy key-ring instead.

Nor do the similarities to Colin Farrell end there. Like his Alexander, I have known both victory and defeat in the land once known as Macedonia. And I also once had a bad experience in a Phone Booth. Someone had peed in it.

People My Brother Jim's Brother Charlie Looks Like #2

Sean reckons I look like this chap called Adam Brody from The OC. I don't. Apart from a temporary hair malfunction (I was too poor at the time to afford a haircut) I find little resemblance. My girlfriend agrees and she actually watches the programme. She also adds that she thinks I'm better looking. Who am I to disagree?